At Echoing Green, we recognize the importance of supporting the emotional well being of our Fellows, by enlisting two chaplains to provide them support. You can read more about them here: http://www.echoinggreen.org/blog/obliged. Jasmine, one of our chaplains, offered some advice:

“Hi there! I'm one of the chaplains who works with Echoing Green Fellows. First, it's great that you've recognized this pattern. That's the first step in changing it and hopefully starting to feel some relief from the depression you're experiencing. Second, I can see your dilemma. You're in a holding pattern and it sounds like someone else is making the calls about what happens next andwhen it happens. Dynamics like this can lead easily to frustration, inertiaand, above all, a feeling that you're not quite in control of something really important—how you spend your time, energy and passions. It's like waiting for an unreliable friend who said they might call to actually call; as long as you keep waiting and saying no to other plans, you're in an uncomfortable holding pattern. The moment you start to make your own choices, the dynamic changes and - hopefully - you'll start feeling better, bit by bit.

If you are feeling a financial strain because of this situation, that lends an urgency to it. It may call for you to make a hard decision at some point: leaving this project behind because it's not tenable to keep waiting and instead prioritizing finding work that is more consistent and offers more stability.

If, however, you're in a financial position to stay in this holding pattern for awhile longer, what about using this time to dive into some projects or interests that truly excite and engage you—something  you've always wanted to do (volunteering, learning a new language, training for a marathon . . . whatever it might be). As long as these are short-term projects rather than intensive ones (like climbing Mt. Everest), you can put them on pause if your work project resumes.

Big picture: think about ways—even very small ways—that you can have more control in this situation and that you can spend time doing things that make you feel more alive, and above all, more like you.”

We hope that helps!